Then again....
I am in some sort of possibly hormone-driven mood-fluctuation cycle, because once again upon re-reading a previous post, I'm left thinking "What was I thinking?"
Maybe this will be a short-lived blog. I seem to be just repeating cycles of "I'm really happy, loving CF", and "Hmmm, is this really for me?" If that is all that I have going on in my head on this topic, things are going to get boring fast.
So, my thoughts on my last post are that I see my point, still agree with myself.
But I read it now and I wonder why I left out all the other stuff. Crying in the shower. Crying at my desk. Crying at the kitchen sink. Crying in my car while driving myself home from an ultrasound with no heartbeat. Ugh. I DO NOT MISS THAT. And there are other ways Hope can be in my life without quite so much torture. I think that maybe, if we hadn't moved when we did, just after an IVF failure, we might still be trying and my dear sweet handsome man might still be missing the person he married.
Maybe this will be a short-lived blog. I seem to be just repeating cycles of "I'm really happy, loving CF", and "Hmmm, is this really for me?" If that is all that I have going on in my head on this topic, things are going to get boring fast.
So, my thoughts on my last post are that I see my point, still agree with myself.
But I read it now and I wonder why I left out all the other stuff. Crying in the shower. Crying at my desk. Crying at the kitchen sink. Crying in my car while driving myself home from an ultrasound with no heartbeat. Ugh. I DO NOT MISS THAT. And there are other ways Hope can be in my life without quite so much torture. I think that maybe, if we hadn't moved when we did, just after an IVF failure, we might still be trying and my dear sweet handsome man might still be missing the person he married.
posted by Rooshie at 19:30
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