So, our niece arrived a while back. I haven't written anything about it because I really just wanted to get a handle on how I feel about it. I mean, there is a lot at play here. This is the first grandchild in DH's family, and while I never cared if we had the FIRST, I did think we would also be bringing a grandchild to the family. And, well, there is all of that baby stuff that I swooned over for years in the Sunday flyers that is now everywhere, but for someone else's baby... I used to have a real reaction to that kind of thing.

Anyway, I wasn't sure how I would react, but I pretty much feel nothing aside from Auntly Pride. I mean, this baby is cute! And sweet, and well-tempered. I hold her and I don't feel an ache, I wade through the baby accessories that surround her and I don't covet them... I don't have any jealousy for the new family.

Which is just weird. I expected to have SOME kind of reaction, some twinge of all that we had hoped for... I'm happy not to be miserable, but it stuns me. What happened to all of my longing? Maybe I'm in denial? Maybe I never really wanted it anyway? (I know I wanted it, who goes through all of that without wanting it.) Maybe I've really moved on? Maybe it is still too early, maybe as the years pass I'll feel the ache? Hmmmm. I'm curious to see what will happen.