Judgement Calls
So, while talking to a neighbor recently about us possibly moving to house that suits us better as a family of 2, she said "Ohhhhh. So you decided against adoption."
I don't know her very well, and certainly had never told her we were considering adoption, because, well... we weren't. Ever. But I guess she got there? Why? Because we don't have children, which means something must be wrong, which means we must be considering adoption? Just for the record: we did not decide against adoption. We decided against parenthood. Which eliminated adoption. And pregnancy/childbirth.
Another one: All the moms that I hang out with (which sometimes lately is getting to be exhausting...) aren't happy with me right now. They understand we don't have kids, and I think some of them may understand why. What they do not seem to understand is why we're insisting on doing things that they aren't doing. Like spending the college fund we had started for our hypothetical kids on things that we enjoy. They can't do that, why can we? Or why we would want to move somewhere that isn't suitable for kids. Or why we would want cars that car seats can't fit in. Or why we sleep till 10 (gasp! yes, 10!) on a Sunday. How could we do those things??? They just can't relate! Well, guess what: there are a lot of things that you do, as parents, that we just can't relate to! You sign your kids up for 3 extra-ciricular activities each, requiring you to spend 22 hours a week driving them to and from practices and recitals? I cannnot relate. But guess what? I don't have to. Stop looking at me like I'm speaking a foreign language when ask what we're up to and I say "Golf. Shopping. Going on trips. Being lazy." And I won't look at you like you're crazy when I ask you the same and you say "Little league. Changing diapers. Getting all 6 family members over the stomach flu. Planning a birthday party for our 1 year old for 200 of our closest friends, complete with a rented elephant, an inflatible ski slope and a permit to close two streets in our neighborhood for 5 hours."
I don't know her very well, and certainly had never told her we were considering adoption, because, well... we weren't. Ever. But I guess she got there? Why? Because we don't have children, which means something must be wrong, which means we must be considering adoption? Just for the record: we did not decide against adoption. We decided against parenthood. Which eliminated adoption. And pregnancy/childbirth.
Another one: All the moms that I hang out with (which sometimes lately is getting to be exhausting...) aren't happy with me right now. They understand we don't have kids, and I think some of them may understand why. What they do not seem to understand is why we're insisting on doing things that they aren't doing. Like spending the college fund we had started for our hypothetical kids on things that we enjoy. They can't do that, why can we? Or why we would want to move somewhere that isn't suitable for kids. Or why we would want cars that car seats can't fit in. Or why we sleep till 10 (gasp! yes, 10!) on a Sunday. How could we do those things??? They just can't relate! Well, guess what: there are a lot of things that you do, as parents, that we just can't relate to! You sign your kids up for 3 extra-ciricular activities each, requiring you to spend 22 hours a week driving them to and from practices and recitals? I cannnot relate. But guess what? I don't have to. Stop looking at me like I'm speaking a foreign language when ask what we're up to and I say "Golf. Shopping. Going on trips. Being lazy." And I won't look at you like you're crazy when I ask you the same and you say "Little league. Changing diapers. Getting all 6 family members over the stomach flu. Planning a birthday party for our 1 year old for 200 of our closest friends, complete with a rented elephant, an inflatible ski slope and a permit to close two streets in our neighborhood for 5 hours."
posted by Rooshie at 15:15
2 Comments:
Rooshie, seriously girl, I think you need some new friends. And some new neighbors, people who won't say assinine things and *gasp* perhaps have no children themselves?
Hmm. I find it interesting to see yet more evidence of how the conscious decision to NOT procreate just doesn't compute in most folk's minds *sigh* Still, I really think your neighbour showed an amazing amount of insensitivity by the "so you decided against adoption" comment, from a number of angles (not just the CF one)... wow :o
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