Pregnancy News... (and no, it is not us)
Just last night I was thinking of what to do with the pregnancy & parenthood books that I have no reason to hang on to. Most of my friends are far enough into motherhood to not need "What to Expect When You're Expecting" or "Dr. Spock's Guide to Baby and Childcare". They are taking up valuable bookshelf real estate. Then tonight my cousin called to tell me his wife is pregnant. I considered for a minute packing them up and dropping them in the mail tomorrow, but I think she probably has gone out and bought every one of them (if I'm going to give them away I feel like I should probably give them to someone who can't buy every single thing their little heart desires...). Also, I wonder how a 10 week pregnant woman would feel about being the recipient of pregnancy/parenthood books from an infertile miscarrier-- would it be seen as a bad omen? Would she feel jinxed? (I don't think they would be a jinx, when I passed on my leftover IVF supplies the woman ended up with triplets.)
I asked all the questions you're supposed to ask- he told me that the doctor had told them that they have less than a 3% chance of miscarriage at this point and he said it with such a sneer in his voice. I didn't say "HA!" or anything like that, I think I said "That's wonderful!" but I was thinking "Ah, how naive." I know he thinks nothing can touch them, and I pray to God he's right.
He said his wife is taking advantage of the pregnancy, laying on the couch watching TV after work, asking him to get her a glass of water. I told him he should consider that he has no idea what it feels like to be pregnant and that it can be very draining. "I know," I told him, "I've been pregnant, it isn't always easy. Take care of her for a little while." They've been married about a year, and when I was at his wedding he joked that she was already talking about children and he was determined to wait several years (guess she won that one!) but tonight on the phone he pointed out that they weren't getting any younger (still both under 30...) and if they were going to have children they really needed to do it now, before it was too late... After all, he didn't want to be changing diapers when he was 50. Yes, he said that. (How long does he think that phase will last?) I do love my cousin, but he can be a dope sometimes...
Tonight I'm feeling hopeful for them, and I see such optimism in this news- I choose to see optimism. He comes from a not so great childhood and I think choosing marriage and parenthood after all that he has seen is a great leap of faith. Or defiance. Or denial. I hope that they are ready, that they won't recreate the pain of his childhood. Once again I feel no pang of jealousy, and I love the freedom from this emotion that I have had since making the CF decision.
I don't think I'll send them my books, I think I'll give them to a local charity that can put them to good use... I already passed on all of my Baby Name books, now it is time to clear out all the rest.
I asked all the questions you're supposed to ask- he told me that the doctor had told them that they have less than a 3% chance of miscarriage at this point and he said it with such a sneer in his voice. I didn't say "HA!" or anything like that, I think I said "That's wonderful!" but I was thinking "Ah, how naive." I know he thinks nothing can touch them, and I pray to God he's right.
He said his wife is taking advantage of the pregnancy, laying on the couch watching TV after work, asking him to get her a glass of water. I told him he should consider that he has no idea what it feels like to be pregnant and that it can be very draining. "I know," I told him, "I've been pregnant, it isn't always easy. Take care of her for a little while." They've been married about a year, and when I was at his wedding he joked that she was already talking about children and he was determined to wait several years (guess she won that one!) but tonight on the phone he pointed out that they weren't getting any younger (still both under 30...) and if they were going to have children they really needed to do it now, before it was too late... After all, he didn't want to be changing diapers when he was 50. Yes, he said that. (How long does he think that phase will last?) I do love my cousin, but he can be a dope sometimes...
Tonight I'm feeling hopeful for them, and I see such optimism in this news- I choose to see optimism. He comes from a not so great childhood and I think choosing marriage and parenthood after all that he has seen is a great leap of faith. Or defiance. Or denial. I hope that they are ready, that they won't recreate the pain of his childhood. Once again I feel no pang of jealousy, and I love the freedom from this emotion that I have had since making the CF decision.
I don't think I'll send them my books, I think I'll give them to a local charity that can put them to good use... I already passed on all of my Baby Name books, now it is time to clear out all the rest.
posted by Rooshie at 20:07
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